Broken Trust
We recently had to take my daughter to the emergency room. Every time a doctor takes her vitals my little daughter and gets extremely emotionally disturbed. I cannot help but realize that her disturbance comes from the sudden removal of her freedom of physical movement. Though she is safe physically, she is being damaged emotionally. The evidence is obvious by the look on her face and the screams from her vocal cords. It is in those moments that she experiences broken trust. She trusts us parents to protect her from everyone. In those moments we fail to protect her from the doctors and nurses who pin her down and take a look in her ear and put stethoscope to her chest and black pump band around her arm. Have we done anything wrong as parents? Absolutely not. But broken trust remains regardless on her end of the deal. In the same way God has allowed many horrible things to happen to me including torment by evil people of which I could not escape. In those moments I have broken trust. I trusted my heavenly father to keep me from harm as it says in Psalm 91 I have made him my high dwelling and so I expect him to keep my foot from striking any stone. Yet in those moments I realized that God did not protect me 100% And I feel broken trust. Does this mean that God did any wrong? Absolutely not for if I die I will be by his side in heaven. And the same way that my daughter still runs to me for help after the mean doctor has finished tormenting her, I too run to my heavenly father after a wicked person smashes my face into the ground. I too look for him to restore my trust. Has God done anything wrong? Absolutely not. Will God allow more bad things to happen to me than I expected him to? Absolutely yes he will. But he loves me regardless. I now trust him to make everything okay despite being tormented by my enemies. He will do so and our little daughter will soon get through her checkups returning to her comfy little home enjoying her little TV shows enjoying her little snacks with great joy. God too will make everything right in the world someday so if you experience broken trust by what God allows to happen to you just remember that he often allows worse things than we could imagine but he rewards us greater than we deserve. The math may not add up to us but it does to him and that's all that matters.